My son just got married, and every time I think I couldn't be happier, I discover yet another thing about my new daughter-in-law that I just adore. She's a spectacular young woman: Beautiful, brilliant, strong - I regularly thank my son for having the good sense to marry her.
The thing is, I want to make sure that she's as grateful for me as I am for her. It's quite the challenge, learning how to be an adjunct mom. And like many of you, I'm divorced, so I've had a few insecure moments about giving them advice.
Then again, I'm a divorce coach, and a darned good one - and besides, who better to steer them around the potholes than someone who knows the road, right?
So after writing a letter to my new daughter, wherein I promised to be the best possible mom to her (much of which revolves around minding my own business), I gave them my Top 5 List for staying off the road to divorce. I thought I'd share them with you:
1. Never have an argument unless you're holding hands.
2. Keep all pornography - even soft-core - out of your life and your home.
3. Before you level that cutting, destructive remark at the other, look up and tell God about it first. (Imagine looking to Heaven and saying, "Father, she's a #!@&!")
4. Be a united front before everyone, including the kids you'll have one day and including me. (Then I added that I hope to have the chance to remedy any blunders I'll make, 'cause they're so going to happen.)
5. Respect her femininity/Respect his masculinity. While the things you have in common create comfort and unity, it's your inherent differences that make life interesting.
Then I gave my daughter-in-law a piece of bonus advice: Be sure to call your mother-in-law on a regular basis, because she totally loves you.
See you next time -
Jenna Brooks is a coach, a columnist, a freelance editor, and is the award-winning author of the October Snow
series. Find her website at Jenna Brooks Online